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Something, changed.

6 Mar 2021


10 Apr 2021

When I was eleven years old, we played Blind Chicken

I was blindfolded in the game, the mission is to catch the running playmates, 

till now, I still not sure what happened, 

there is a voice in my head that says

‘carry on, all you need to do is to run, keep on running in a straight line, then you can catch the one you want.’

In the end, I did not catch anyone, I lost focus and crashed onto the basketball rack.

There was no blood, nor a wound, but the blood vessel ruptured, leaving a large tumor about 6 cm in diameter on the left forehead. After that, I went through two operations, separated that harden and shrunk tumor that had been living with for two years. 

Since then, my thoughts are as if they had merged with an unknown soul.

What I see what I feel, astonish me, 

Every time I shut my eyes, I enter that dark forest.

All these years, I witnessed the images that the paintbrush had left on the paper. 

For me, it is more than just painting, 

it is an unconscious stroke, 

the moment the paint spread and recombine, 

just like a hostess welcoming the guests with opened arms in front of the restaurant, welcoming those ancient memories into your hands.

I know there is no eternal happiness, but somehow, we have to find a way to make ourselves a little bit happier 

Are these paintings a lie?

I am unsure, I do not know, perhaps. 

But thanks to all these lies which brought me happiness,

it is an escape, a contemplation, a gaze, a burst of laughter…

We are all part of the structure of the universe, a structure that may be discouraging… but being one under the skies. that’s delightful, that’s awesome, thank you

Forever and ever. 


After the operations, 

Mother had expressed her worries about my sudden drop in intelligence. 

She is my devilish life coach 

(Although she might not see it herself)

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